Grass Is Always Greener
by Flames101
Summary: It's Halloween and Garcia has chosen the team's costumes. JJ laments over her best friend's choice but quickly learns that the grass always seems greener on the other side. JJ/Hotch with the entire team making appearances. One-Shot. CCOAC halloween piece


**A/N:** Hey all! This is my entry into the Masquerade challenge over at the forum Chit Chat On Author's Corner. My chosen pairing was JJ/Hotch and the costume that had to appear was Smurfette.

I chose to do this in the universe of my Life, Unexpected story. But you definitely don't have to read that one to know what's going on here.

Please, let me know what you think, thanks!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds.

**Grass is Always Greener:**

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><p>Hotch's mouth was dropped wide open. Any second now a fly would zoom inside and he would regret his inability to control his body's involuntary reaction.<p>

It was Halloween night and he'd promised his wife of three years that he would finish work and hurry home so he too could participate in the festivities. The plan was to trick-or-treat for a bit and then head on over to the very rare Bureau sanctioned kids/adults Halloween party.

Arriving home he'd found no one in sight. Jack and Henry were probably still at Jessica's, their usual after school hang-out. And the almost three year old Susannah was probably just being picked up by her mother from daycare.

So, he made his way to his and JJ's bedroom deciding that he should get a head start on getting ready for the night. That's how he found the sight he was currently gawping at.

JJ was wiggling into a bright, robin's egg blue, one piece leotard; he watched her as she twisted this way and that in front of the mirror. She was grimacing into the mirror like what she was seeing wasn't pleasing to the eye.

_What was there not to like?_

The blue tight thing showed off every single one of her assets, the curve of her hips, the slenderness of her waist, the fullness of her chest. She was hot as hell.

"Oh, hey," she greeted, finally seeing him through the mirror. She turned around, giving him the full affect. She was mouth-watering beautiful. "Do you see the costume Garcia picked out for me?"

_Oh yeah,_ he definitely saw; his eyes wondered downwards, taking her all in.

He suddenly registered her exasperation and his eyes darted up to meet hers.

_She really wasn't happy… but she looked gorgeous._

JJ turned back to the mirror, frowning at herself. "Emily gets to be Cat Woman. Now there's a sexy costume. And I… I get to be this…"

She held her hands out to either side as if she were asking God why she was cursed with such a bad friend.

He didn't know what she was talking about, she most definitely looked sexy. No one would ever believe that this woman had given birth to two children that he was sure of. But what he wasn't sure of was what exactly she was supposed to be.

"What is _this_, exactly?" he was finally able to ask.

She turned back to face him, giving him a distressed look. "See, no one even knows what this is anymore," she lamented. She gestured towards their bed; there, laid out was a white dress, white stuffed, hat-like object, and some white heels. "I'm Smurfette!"

Hotch smiled at her widely. Now he could see it. The leotard that fit her like a glove was the blue skin of the Smurfs and JJ and Smurfette both shared the same blonde hair. Garcia, in his opinion, was a genius.

Grinning from ear to ear, he closed the distance between himself and his blue looking—in more ways than one—wife, placing his hands on both of her shoulders. He pulled her body close to his and kissed her long and hard; cashing in on the wave of desire he'd felt for her the minute he'd caught sight of her in that painted on looking blue suit.

When they finally pulled apart, JJ struggled to catch her breath as he looked down at her lovingly.

"What… was that… for?" she asked between breaths.

He smiled down at her. "Did you know when I was a kid I had a huge crush on Smurfette?"

"Really?" she replied laughingly.

Hotch nodded slowly. "Oh yeah. That skin, her hair, who could resist? She was sexy as hell."

"Hmm…" JJ considered this. "Maybe I'll keep the costume an extra day then…"

She gave him a pretty suggestive looking look and Hotch had to this time gulp down the urge to grab her and peel away the blue skin.

JJ laughed. "Later," she assured him knowingly.

She pushed him towards the bathroom. "Go change, get ready. I'll get Susannah ready and we can pick up the boys."

Hotch dragged his feet. "What did Garcia get me?" he called over his shoulder.

"You'll see," JJ called back in an ominous sounding sing-song voice.

Why they'd let their technical analyst pick out and get their costumes this year was beyond him. One thing was for sure, though, she sure picked a perfect costume for his perfect looking wife.

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><p>JJ scanned the room, marvelling at how the Bureau's Lecture Hall had been transformed into party central. It looked like a totally different place with the pumpkin, spider, and ghostly artefacts decorating the room.<p>

She was searching for her friends, eager to see what Garcia had put them in. She only knew that she was Smurfette and that Hotch was dressed as Grumpy Bear from the Care Bears, a name he had instantly lived up to. And, JJ guessed, it hadn't helped when she'd laughed out loud the second he'd stepped out of the bathroom clad in the blue furry suit, which only left his face exposed. But he'd looked too adorable for words with the two little ears sitting on the top of his head; she hadn't been able to help it when she suggested that she paint his nose black. He'd proceeded to stomp out of the room with her laughter following.

After that they'd promptly left the house and gotten to the party. Once they'd arrived he'd oh so generously offered to escort and watch their kids while they were entertained by the many kid's games and activities that were set up for them. But JJ knew that he was really only trying to hide from their kid-less friends.

JJ smiled at the memory, as her eyes finally landed on her best friend.

"Oh wow!" JJ exclaimed as Garcia sidled up next to her.

"You like?" Garcia asked, pleased, as she gave JJ a bit of a twirl.

JJ took in Garcia's red, short dress with the white poofy underskirt peeking from under. On top of the dress was a white apron and on her best friend's head was a puffy pink hat, covered in strawberries. To complete the outfit, Garcia had managed to find green and white striped knee high socks.

"You're Strawberry Shortcake, right?" JJ questioned.

"Yep," Garcia said excitedly. "Wait until you see everyone else! You look great by the way!"

"Thanks Penelope," JJ said good-naturedly, she'd finally come to terms with her outfit.

They continued to talk and were soon joined by Rossi and Reid dressed respectively as Mario and Luigi from the old Nintendo games. JJ really got a kick out of that and thought Garcia had a stroke of genius when it came to their costumes.

"Have you seen Emily or Morgan?" JJ asked her son's godfather when they'd finished exchanging compliments.

She was finding it increasingly difficult not to grin at Reid's stuck-on fake moustache.

"Morgan's hovering outside the women's washroom," Reid informed. "Emily won't come out… something to do with her costume being completely ridiculous…"

He shrugged his shoulders as if to say, "It's Halloween, there's no such thing as ridiculous…"

JJ raised her eyebrows in surprise, at the same moment, Garcia exclaimed, "What? I handpicked out her costume. What's not to like? She's Cat Woman for God's sake."

She proceeded to stomp in the general direction of the washrooms. JJ really wanted to follow her but Rossi stopped her in her tracks.

"So, where's Hotch?" the older man asked, grinning knowingly.

Everyone knew that Hotch wasn't a huge fan of the dress-up holiday, or at least not a fan of dressing up himself.

"He's with the boys and Susannah," she confessed easily, "At the games…"

She realized with a grin that she was betraying her husband. But, hey, he was the one who had left her to be blue out in the open. He would have to face the music too.

"Ahh…" Rossi said knowingly. "Thinks he can hide that way, huh? Come on Reid, I think we should go say hello to our esteemed Unit Chief, it's only polite."

They started to walk off, and JJ felt the need to call out, "He's big and blue, you can't miss him!"

She laughed to herself, knowing that she wouldn't hear the end of it when she and Hotch were alone later tonight. All she could do was shrug her shoulders, for now she'd enjoy the feeling of turning the tables on the man she loved.

All alone, she decided to wander around and check out what everyone was wearing.

22222222222

JJ was talking with Agent Anderson who was dressed ever-so creatively as a 'Men In Black,' character, when she spotted Garcia with Morgan and a sullen looking Emily in tow.

JJ excused herself from Anderson and intercepted the three, a huge grin on her face. Morgan was clearly dressed as a Ghost-buster in his brown jumpsuit and pack on his back. But it was Emily that JJ couldn't take her eyes off of. JJ was decidedly glad that Garcia had not given her the Cat Woman outfit. Smurfette she could deal with. But Emily's 'Cat Woman' outfit was definitely hide-in-the-washroom worthy.

Emily was cat woman, all right, or more precisely, "The Crazy Cat Lady." She was clad in a long, ugly brown baggy skirt, with a matching baggy brown sweater. On her shoulder sewn into the fabric was a mangy looking stuffed animal cat. In her arms she carried another cat, and she also had a bag swung over her shoulder that had several cat's sticking out of it.

Emily turned to Morgan and exclaimed, "See, she's laughing."

JJ laughed out loud then. "Sorry," she mumbled.

"Why couldn't I be Smurfette?" Emily wondered out loud. "Now that's a sexy costume."

"Babe," Morgan turned to his girlfriend. "You're always sexy to me, no matter what you wear."

JJ turned to Garcia allowing the couple their private moment.

"The costume shop made a mistake," Garcia stated the obvious.

JJ nodded. "Did I ever thank you for getting me _this_ costume…" She grinned at her friend.

"Look who we dragged away from the games," they heard Rossi exclaim.

They all turned to see Rossi and Reid flanking an also sullen looking Hotch. More laughter ensued this time at the expense of their esteemed Unit Chief. Hotch zeroed his gaze on JJ, but she wouldn't meet his eyes, knowing that he was definitely planning his payback.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm a cute little bear," Hotch said tersely. "Laugh all you want…"

He walked over to his wife and took her hand walking her away a few feet. "JJ how could you?" he accused.

She couldn't help her chuckle. "You left me to fend for myself…"

"Yeah, but Reid wouldn't stop singing the theme song from the Care Bears, it was embarrassing," Hotch informed.

"Reid knows what the Care Bears are?" she inquired curiously.

"His mom made him watch it when he was a kid so he could develop his moral sense," Hotch replied. "But that's beside the point… you betrayed me!"

She could tell he was amused and ready to laugh out loud at any second, but she played along.

"And what are you going to do about that?" JJ said, voice coming out husky.

"Hmm…" Hotch considered, looking deep into her blue eyes. "I think I'm going to have to come up with some very _bad _things I'm going to have to do to you tonight…"

JJ smirked. She knew exactly what he meant by bad. "While I'm wearing the Smurfette costume…" she said oh-so innocently.

She watched as an intense look of desire overcame Hotch's features. _Oh yeah, he definitely had a thing for Smurfette as a kid._

"Any chance we can leave now?" he said, instead of answering her question.

JJ smiled. "Not if you want to disappoint your children and Garcia…"

He frowned briefly as his eyes wandered over to their group of friends. "Is that Emily?" he asked, "I thought she was supposed to be Cat Woman?"

JJ burst out laughing again, pulling her husband over to join the mostly happy gang.

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><p>Well that's it. I hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think!<p> 


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